1.Strange Piece Of Music
Stuff's gone bung
In my lifearooni
But I'll bounce back
Cos I'm cool
Shit's hit the fan
I'm my own number one fan
I'm also my own stalker
I know my pin number
＊＊＊＊
I like love
I love hate
I hate like
I hate everything I love
I like everything I like
I can't stand rockmelon
It tastes funny
Strange piece of music why are you here
You don't belong in this song
You are a lost bit of a song
You are the wrong bit from some song
Some song is probably missing its bridge
You would do well not to be here
You should go away
We will call the authorities
They will take you away
You will be turned into a ring tone which
Will put you all the way down the food chain in the song
industry
And make it extremely hard for you to
Ever be taken seriously
Again
Don't give me that
That suspended minor seventh isn't gonna work on me kiddo
(Three four)
(Unsolicited whistling)
I wanna travel back in time
So I can borrow money from myself
And suggest not to take up smoking
But to wear an eye patch
And give myself a list of girls
Not to go out with
Knowing I will anyway
Ridiculous concept
Considering it could have been a list of Melbourne Cup horses to
bet on
I want a Missy Higgins film clip
(For Christmas)
I want a long term relationship
With an Irish optometrist
One or two？ (one)
One or two？ (um, two)
Better or worse？ (better)
I never discount the possibility
That I might be the creator of the universe
And if this is the case
In the afterlife you're all coming to my gigs
But it'll be okay
There'll be foot massages
And limited tap beer
Strange piece of music what are you doing back here
You do not belong in this song
You were asked nicely to leave this song
Oh what is wrong
I'm not having this conversation again
We have been through this
Don't make it any harder for me than it needs to be oh
All right very well yes I suppose I can be fair
You make a point because the truth is
I was not exactly sure
Just how to end this song
And then you came along
Oh Strange Piece Of Music
You belong
2.Party In My Head
(Purple monkey dishwasher)
There's a party in my head
Not everyone's invited
It's supposed to be a small gathering
Of my best emotions
But confidence insisted
On inviting along modesty
And they're friends with insecurity so now
Every fucking inner loser is here
Awkwardness asks intellect
What she does at uni
Cynicism makes fun
Of optimism's dancing
Anger and apathy
Have become the best of friends
Lust and guilt have been up
In the bathroom for ages
Creativity and motivation turn up smashed
They're threatening to break up again
They do this every time
High and low self-esteem both agree to a nudie run
Loneliness lurks outside he's made up
His own drinking game for one
In the kitchen earnestness is getting jealous of irony
He's getting all the laughs
But is really quite shallow
Worry keeps trying to crack onto happiness
Sadness says beware
She is the Yoko of emotions
Shyness sends me a text
She says she really wanted to make it
She got the wrong directions
From mental illness
Vagueness turns up late
He thought there was a theme
He's dressed as a ninja pirate
I'm really never sure
What vagueness is thinking
There's a party in my head
Not everyone's invited
I'm so busy being host
I'm having a shit time
Despite having every song
I've ever heard to choose from
They've got Bon Jovi's Bed Of Roses
On repeat
In the backyard there's a smash
Two rival gangs have gatecrashed
Memories bad and good
Both stake claim to my state of mind
But what they don't realise
Is that I need them both the same
Forgiveness steps in
And kicks everybody's arse
In the bedroom I can hear laughter and screams
Subconscious plays the preview for tomorrow night's dreams
Addiction's making punch out of everybody's dregs
Hey gimme some of that
Says self control
Hindsight reckons parties were better back in his day
Depression kindly reminds him that he's full of shit
Sensitivity's spewing tears
She's had a bit much to think
Love holds the hair
Out of her eyes
There's a party in my head
Seems everyone's invited
Somehow I gotta fall apart to get myself reunited
As I finally drift off to sleep
Self-worth makes a speech to me
I love you man
You're the best
Sorry about the mess
3.What Am I Supposed To Be Doing？
Eleven AM I wake up
Twelve PM I'm still stuck
On the edge of my bed
Like a hood ornament in pyjamas
I should have a shower or breakfast at least
But I think we're out of milk and there's only crusts left
And I don't want anymore hairs on my chest
I know I had really grand plans for today
But I'm a snooze button junkie getting high on delay
Morning is well and truly broken
And Cat Stevens has changed his name
And I've got six different things to do lists
Hidden around my room
Please tell me
What am I supposed to be doing？
Um
Um
What Am I supposed to be doing？
I've got emails to not reply to calls to put off making
Bills to suppress and some appointment to think briefly about
But then I can't find that bit of paper
I've got resumes to print out and write lyrics on the back of
Washing to orbit my room with and
Gigs to think hard about probably never getting round to ever
actually looking for
I dream of genie in my water bottle
Someone specialising in admin and PR
To come along and start kissing me slowly behind the neck
Y'know and getting me gigs and shit
Cos life offers you more choices than Subway
I don't know what salads or dressings
I want on my sandwich of destiny
I could start a novel
Start a charity
Start a small business course
And take the first baby steps towards
Starting a multi-national global franchised corporation
Or I could just have a ciggie and a cup of tea
Nine PM yeah where's the day gone？
I didn't get my things to do list done
But I did make a mixed tape for my cousin
4.The Happiest Boy
When I was thirteen
I was abducted by aliens
In a sunset orange
valiant with wings
The aliens were friendly
They communicated by break dancing
They looked like a cross
Between Gumby, Bjork and Richie Benaud
They took me to their home planet
Mars_79
It had an iced vovo surface
And a lynx java atmosphere
They sterilised me with towellettes
Fed me condensed milk through a tube
Gave me an interactive pamphlet
And teleported all but my pants
And I was the happiest boy out of this world
The architecture on mars_79 was inspired by the spirograph
They had no words for war
And fifty six words for funk
Their main source of economy
Was teaching break dancing as a second language
Mainly to interplanetary students
Cos that's where all the money is
The aliens were progressive
They believed in sex before breakfast
They paid for stuff in hugs
And gave change in kickboxing
They used trampoline energy
And kept sideburns as pets
And thought flossing a religious experience so they didn't go to
church much
And I was the happiest boy out of this world
Then they began their experiments on me
Probing me with questions about TV
Home and away they wanted to know if Aisla had died
Cos they were nine seasons behind
x-files they wanted to know if Mulder and Scully had smooched
and how they got a documentary to look so well produced
I could not speak
I acted dumb
Did I mention I had an instrument up my bum？
Flute.
The aliens apologised
They break danced with tears in their eyes
They offered to erase my memories of the trip
And take me home in a bit
But I pleaded with them to keep all my memories of them
And erase all my memories of TV shows
And I was the happiest boy in this world.
5.I'm So Lonely
I'm so lonely
I spend my time playing Uno by myself
I'm so lonely
I only drink gin with Solo
The original mood crusher
On the stereo is One by U2
Followed by The Smashing Pumpkins
With Zero
I'm so lonely
My shadow wants to start seeing other people
I'm so lonely
I top and tail with myself in a single bed
A euphemism for the foetal position
I spend my time reading through my old diaries
I can only live through myself vicariously
I'm getting intensely jealous of my own memories
All my imaginary friends used to be real
I'm the thirteenth sign of the zodiac
It is a hole that is black
The goldfish remembers to turn its back
I ran a bubble bath it went flat
I had a falling out
I'm not talking to myself anymore
6.Brown
7.Jesus On Big Brother
Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother
As soon as he came on
Two million homes around Australia
Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets
Within a week he'd won the house over
They found him kind genuine passionate artistic
And he made a divine pasta bake
Out of next to nothing
He cracked jokes for all ages and races
He played air banjo
And sang songs about freeing the refugees
He got down on his knees
Within two weeks Mooks had brought out the urban robe
Sandals were back in
And kids were wearing halos to school
The TV ratings broke all the records
More people watched Jesus than The Simpsons and the news and
The CSIs combined
He was on the cover of all the magazines
Priests were constantly being hounded by reporters
Wanting the dirt
Church attendances doubled then tripled
People brought in signs that said
John 3：16 and
Jesus is emo
He was the talk of the school yard
The topic of the offices
Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows
Thousands of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their
windows
Bible sales reached biblical proportions
Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus in awe
Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn't get any more popular
The remaining housemates began to plot against him
For they knew that he would win
Unless they all agreed to nominate him
The biggest complaint made against Jesus was that he was too
nice
And a bit preachy
While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on
his side
Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes
And was evicted
After leaving the Big Brother house
Jesus refused all interviews
Auctioned his possessions for charity
And went into hiding
Viewers were devastated
Some kept their TV sets off for three days
As a sign of respect
But then three weeks later Jesus returned
With his own prime time controversial TV show
Everybody Loves Jesus
And it out-rated Big Brother three to one
He then released a hit single
Godilicious
And my little cousin
Knows all the words
8.Swan Song
(English translation)
I had a dream
That I got you pregnant
And you gave birth
To two black swans
I wasn't sure
If we should keep them
But motherly milk
From your breasts secreted
Two years later
Which in swan years is eighteen
They blew out their candles
And asked us if they were adopted
And we said
Nuh
9.Swan Song French
10.For The Love I Have For You
11.Circus Bear
12.Orange
13.Wow Wow's Song
HELLO
MY NAME IS WOW WOW
I AM HERE TO TELL YOU SOME STORIES
WHEN I'M WAKING UP
I'M NOT FEELING VERY HAPPY
I GO LA LA LA
AND THEN I MAKE THE BREKKY
WHEN I GO TO BED
I AM FEELING VERY ANGRY
I GO LA LA LA
AND THEN I GO TO NIGH-NIGH
La La La
Can only take you so far
Na Na Na
Will take you higher
HELLO
IT'S WOW WOW HERE AGAIN
TO TELL YOU SOME MORE STORIES
WHEN I GO TO WORK
I FORGET WHAT I'M SPOSED TO DO
I GO LA LA LA
DO DO DO
WHEN I'M COMING HOME
I STARE AT ALL THE PEOPLE
I GO LA LA LA
DO DO DO
BREAK IT DOWN
HELLO!
WOW WOW BACK AGAIN WITH HIS BREAKDOWN GAME
I DO AND THEN YOU DO
WHEN I'M FEELING SICK
I WHISTLE AND I CLICK
(whisle, click)
WHEN I'M FEELING FIT
I POP AND I YIP
(Pop, yip)
HMMM
NOW YOU DO AT HOME
WHEN I'M FEELING SICK
I WHISTLE AND I CLICK
(whisle, click)
NOT BAD
WHEN I'M FEELING FIT
I POP AND I YIP
(Pop, yip)
HMMH
YOU CALL THAT YIP？
HELLO WOW WOW
I'M STILL WAITING FOR THE SONG TO FINISH
NEARLY DONE
OKAY
THERE IT GOES
UH
HELLO
WOW WOW HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THE ALBUM IS FINISHED
THANKYOU FOR LISTENING
WE LOVE YOU
BYE
14.Social Life At The Psychiatric Unit 30.07.77
| 
